Brittany Noble McCarthy

My Dad enlisted in the Army when I was five months old, just after he turned 22. Over the course of my childhood, I lived in five states, two countries and attended seven schools. Growing up in a military family has benefits and consequences and most Americans do not understand the ramifications of this lifestyle.

Edward Beal, MD, author of War Stories from the Forgotten Soldiers said, "71 percent of Americans say they do not understand the problems faced by those who have served since 9/11 and the public has ‘little awareness’ of the issues facing them and their families”.

My story is both unique and universal. My memoir will encourage people to think more deeply about the challenges military families face and the incredibly stigmatized topic of murder-suicide, the ripple effects it has on communities, and how careless, reporting and thoughtless acts in society impact those left behind.

All survivors of suicide loss deserve compassion, grace, truth, normalized language, and humanization. This stands true for murder-suicide loss survivors as well, regardless of the circumstances or an individual’s relationship to victims and/or perpetrators.

I understand and believe this first-hand and am an advocate for survivors of murder-suicide loss. I felt terribly alone after my loss and I had no idea how to cope with the suicide of a parent and the death of a stepparent at my father’s hand. That was, until, I started down the path to find the truth, grieve, and heal. I built a support network, listened to survivors tell their stories, and read the research and in the process found the power of my voice. Those left behind after a murder-suicide loss shouldn’t have to feel alone, guilty, or ashamed.

We often see murder-suicides sensationalized in headlines. Each day the number of survivors of murder-suicide loss grows, impacting countless families and communities across the country.

Initially, I felt defined by the headlines and stigmatized circumstances of these suicide loss stories. I struggled to find somebody like me telling their story publicly about this type of loss without shame. I knew, because of the daily headlines about murder-suicides and from research, this was a daily occurrence.

I am committed to breaking the silence and the stigma - around this type of loss so other survivors feel less alone. The headlines can’t explain the complexities of these types of suicide loss stories and we must do better so those survivors left behind feel less alone.